i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
