she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
