Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize