proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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