She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
