Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
