well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
high people should be assigned attendants
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
