Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
