i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
