I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Drake has all the answers
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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