he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
