it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
