I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Alive.
So much puke
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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