Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
