the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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