Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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