So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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