I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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