The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
