He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
did you just send me my own nude
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
