I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
