Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
My liver just had a heart attack.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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