I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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