3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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