waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
