This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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