she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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