Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
