After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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