You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
