Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
