dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Watching her eat just hurts me
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
