Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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