Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize