I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
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Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
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You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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