Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
