hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
