Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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