the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
