My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
