talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
