Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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