i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
