capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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