i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Randomize