MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
