Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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