nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
