im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
