What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
