remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize