whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
