I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
