Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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