What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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