when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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