Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
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He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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